Vancouver Night
by TheNightmirage
Summary: 3 months after Shepard woke in a pile of rubble as Anderson destroyed the Reapers, she is still plagued by violent nightmares of her indoctrination. But Kaidan can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be than with her. -Follows the Indoctrination Theory-


For the third night in a row, her frantic thrashing wakes him. Kaidan comes back to consciousness with a violent jolt. It is the middle of the night. The window on the opposite side of the room is completely dark. He sees a few stars in the distance through the glass pane.

She is having another nightmare. She is clutching the bedcovers with her left hand as she kicks her legs out in a futile attempt to escape whatever is plaguing her sleeping mind. A high-pitched, pitiful whimper escapes her lips.

"Bekah," he says, rolling onto his side and propping himself up on an elbow. He reaches out and places his hand on the top of her head, sliding his fingers into her blonde hair. She twitches away from him and cries out again.

"Bekah, wake up," he insists firmly, his voice still raspy with grogginess. "You're dreaming." He gives her head a gentle shake.

Her eyes fly open, and she bolts upright, the last wail of her nightmare dying in her throat.

"You were dreaming," he tells her, hoping to remind her that she is safely in bed with him and not in whatever horrific scenario her subconscious mind had just placed her.

"Right," she replies weakly.

He sits up and places an arm around her waist. She leans back into him, still breathing hard.

"What was it this time?"

"Nothing that actually happened, thankfully."

"Was it Tali again?"

"No. It was you."

"I'm right here, Bekah," he assures her. "I'm okay."

"What if this happens every night from now on? Nobody's ever survived being indoctrinated. Sometimes I just think everything I see isn't real."

After David Anderson had successfully fired the Crucible and destroyed the Reapers, Shepard had awoken dazed and confused in a pile of rubble in London. She had come back to Kaidan against all odds…but she had come back with a horrifying alternate reality that had played out in her mind as she fought off Harbinger's final attempt to fully indoctrinate her. In this alternate reality, she'd been forced to make an awful decision...control, synthesize, or destroy.

She was an Alliance soldier through and through, even as she fought off an insidious invader, and had chosen to destroy the Reapers (or thought she had). She had returned convinced she had caused the genocide of the geth, killed EDI, and somehow caused the Normandy to crash on an uncharted planet. Of course, none of this had happened, but it had taken several days and a lot of evidence (including several visits from EDI and half the Normandy crew) to convince her that the scenario that had played out in her indoctrinated mind was just that…indoctrination.

And now, three months later, she was still plagued by nightmares on most nights. Her mother had finally convinced her to seek out help, but even a top psychologist could only help so much in the face of such an unstudied phenomena as indoctrination. The doctor had assured both Rebekah and Kaidan that it would get easier to cope as time passed, just like with any other trauma. But that was of little comfort to them now.

They had spent the past two weeks at his mother's house in Vancouver. The cessation of involvement all the Alliance victory parades, speeches, and conventions seemed to have done both of them considerable good. The daylight hours were almost like normal most of the time. She was even laughing again.

A month ago, they'd both formally retired from the Alliance. They had done enough for the galaxy. Shepard had fought him when he'd announced he wanted to leave the Alliance too, but he could think of no place he would rather be than by her side. He could not stand the idea of being deployed and being away from her anymore. They had been apart for two years before the Reapers arrived. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure neither of them had to suffer through something like that again.

But nights were still difficult.

Her breathing has returned to normal, and she sleepily sinks further into his arms. He presses his cheek up against the back of her head and sighs into her hair.

"I know something that is absolutely real," he speaks up.

"Hmmmm?"

"Us. And that won't change."

He feels her smile, which she hasn't done much lately.

So maybe nights are hard. Maybe the nightmares will continue for a while. Maybe he'll have to watch her struggle, no matter how much he wishes he could stop the pain.

But Kaidan can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be than in a bed in Vancouver at three in the morning, holding on to the woman he was never, ever going to lose again.


End file.
